Buh-Bye 2011

2011 was another crazy ass year and I am so glad it is over.But just because one year is over and it’s a new day doesn’t mean thateverything is magically going to change. Oh, how I wish it would.  I would love it if when the clock struck, midnight that nothing would be negative anymore. However again this year thatdid not happen.

I woke up New Year’sEve and yet again had the worst stomach pains. I went about my day to a point.I didn’t go to a funeral that I really wanted to go to. My two best friend’s Nana passed away the previous week and I went to the visitations, which was very hard because it was the 4^th person that has passed away recently forour family. I was so sad that I had to miss the funeral.  First because I told my friends I would bethere and second because I truly did love their Nana.

Anyway I spent the day how I was originally supposed to spend it, with the family. My cousin and her beautiful family were coming in to town for a delayed Christmas. We went to my aunt’s house early to watch UK play Louisville (We won, of course). After that the whole family showed up to enjoy lots of food and each other’s company.  Once we got home I lay around and watched TV with Mom and tried to relax. Not easy. When I went to go to bed I must have moved the wrong way, because all of a sudden there was extreme pain and I burst in to tears. Dad was already in bed and Mom was not taking me to the ER on New Year’s Eve. I had to wait until Daddy woke up that morning to go to the ER. After 4 hours of waiting and I was told yet again nothing was wrong. However, I dohave Endometriosis and there are small cysts on my ovaries due to the PCOS which leaves me in constant pain. But as usual the MD didn’t acknowledge that. He just sent me home with pain pills.

Since then I have been in the same pain. I rarely get out ofbed or leave the house. I am in constant pain. I feel that be stomach is constantly being twisted and turned. My hips and lower back always hurt. I also have a fatty liver (my liver is enlarged) and that causes pain more often thatI would like. I also get migraines when my hormones get really out of control which is pretty much all of the time. My hormones are so bad I have hotflashes. (Crazy, huh?)

I have discussed with my Mom on several occasions about going back to work and I just don’t know if that is an option right now. I have trouble getting out of bed and staying out. Not to mention every time I have a job, I get in trouble for absences due to the migraines and the PCOS. I would try very hard when having a job, but it’s hard when you are in the ER for pain at night and then have to be at work the next morning.

I need to figure something out for health care and to help provide for myself and my animals, which I have not been able to do since August of last year.  I am trying to justify that I am not giving up on myself. I do plan to try to come up with a plan for myself. I need to get my life back in order. My health and financial life, that will be starting soon.